


Don't get your knickers in a twist!

by CrookshankKitty



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:34:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27683602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrookshankKitty/pseuds/CrookshankKitty
Summary: When Yuletide presents get mixed up.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Fred Weasley
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26
Collections: Fremione Fanatics 2020 Yule fest





	Don't get your knickers in a twist!

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Fredmione Fanactics Yule Fic 2020.  
> Thank you to all for organising this.  
> I just love Yuletide with all the food, sparkly decorations, lovely smells, warm jumpers.  
> and also when you have a Secret Santa and the fun this can entail.
> 
> Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. all Characters belong to JK Rowling, Warner Brothers, Bloomsbury etc  
> Just writing for fun etc Blah blah blah Rhubarb etc.

Fred Weasley groaned and handed the small slip of parchment to his wife, who read it with raised eyebrows and then proceeded to giggle loudly.

"Stop laughing! this isn't funny...what the bloody hell can you get a Witch who has everything and is one hundred and six years old?!" he demanded to the world in general.

"Haven't a clue...but as its a Secret Santa present it does not matter what you get for Aunty Muriel, as your Mum in a casual way if there is anything Muriel needs or wants." replied Hermione.

"Fancy swopping love? who did you get? Even Percy would be easier than Aunty Muriel...I could get him a new Cardigan or a box of quills!"

"Not telling you who I got, its meant to be a surprise for the big get together Yule dinner at the Burrow, now that there are lots of new Grandchildren and their parents want to have their first Yule to themselves at home, its a compromise for everyone to be together so your parents see all the Grandchildren, as its Oscars first Yule, we want it to be just the three of us." replied his wife.

" I know and its going to be great! got lots of gifts for him...what would you like for Yule my lovely darling of a witch?" Fred asked Hermione kissing her cheek.

"Anything you get will be wonderful, but something frivolous and fun please!" Hermione responded and pulled Fred to her and kissing him soundly.

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Later that day when Fred had finished for the day at Weasleys Wizard Wheezes, he decided to go shopping for the last of his Yule presents, the secret Santa for Great aunty Muriel and the naughty, fun gift he usually got his witch to open when they were alone.

His twin brother George had agreed to lock up the shop and Fred would lock up the next night so George could do his Yule shopping.

As Fred walked up the brightly decorated and bustling Diagon alley he was frantically thinking of what to get for both witches, he saw the crowd outside Honeydukes sweets and decided on some Chocolates for the whole family, he would get a box of butterbeer toffees for Aunty Muriel and some dark mint fancies for Hermione.

Once he had been served and asked them to owl them to his cottage, he left the shop and headed up the alley towards Flourish and Blotts where he ordered some books for Hermione and Oscar, after this Fred headed to Madam Malkins to get his personal gift for his witch.

The window of Madam Malkins robes had been decorated for the Yuletide season with floating candles and branches of evergreen and Holly.

As Fred entered the shop the bell on the door tinkled and Madam Malkin came from behind the counter to greet him, thankfully the shop was empty, Fred always felt a tad awkward when buying things for the females in his life.

"Good evening Mr Weasley, how may I help you?" enquired the smiling Madam Malkin.

"Hello, could you help with a Yule gift for my wife please?...I want a fun, frivolous...maybe intimate item...if you have something like that." he muttered slightly red faced.

"We have all sorts of items that fit that description, do you have an amount in mind for your spending on said item?"

"As long as it won't empty my vault!" laughed Fred.

Madam Malkin smiled and asked Fred to follow her to the lingerie department situated at the back of the shop behind a pink velvet curtain hung with heavy gold tassels.

"We have lots of Lacey and silky frivolities here, in lots of different sizes and fabrics, suitable for any witch or magical being, we can gift wrap and owl post any item with the utmost discretion at a small extra charge." she told him.

"I will leave you to choose your gift and when you are ready call and I will wrap any items you decide to purchase." she added before leaving Fred alone in the mercifully empty room.

Fred quickly decided on an pair of black silk French knickers that had tiny crystal stars on the smooth fabric, his witch would look amazing in them, Hermione was a goddess in his eyes and looked wonderful in what ever she wore, but these would enhance her gorgeous backside, he went into a small fantasy reverie for a few minutes.

Ten minutes later when Fred had come back to the present, he called to Madam Malkin who came back and gift wrapped the knickers in purple tissue paper, then placing them in a Gold gift box tying it with black satin ribbon, he asked for it to be owl posted to his home address so he wife didn't see it and spoiling the surprise, Madam malkin reassured him that it would be delivered the next day.

After paying for the underwear, Fred left the shop and then disapparated home.

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After Fred had left the shop Madam Malkin took all the items for Owl posting to the back of the shop where the three shop assistants would wrap them in plain brown paper and send them off to the various addresses, she just hoped that her newest trainee assistant Boudicca Eccles wouldn't mix up the orders like she had for the previous week, with people getting the wrong parcels, it had been highly embarassing.

"Boudicca dear please don't get these new orders mixed up, its not good for our reputation!" Madam Malkin told the young shop assistant, she had left Hogwarts the previous summer and had decided on career in magical retail.

"No Madam Malkin...I will make sure all the address labels are correct!" replied Miss Eccles.

"Just see that you do! I hear the shop bell...more customers mean bigger Yuletide bonus's!" Madam Malkin cried on hearing the shop bell tinkle, she left to go back into the shop.

An exhausted looking Molly Weasley had just entered the shop, she was laden down with large shopping bags over both arms and several parcels floating behind her.

"Good evening Mrs Weasley, How may I be of help?" asked Madam Malkin.

"Hello Madam Malkin, I'm in need of some new undergarments...not for me...it's for my great Aunt...she wears those big bloomers, the ones that come down to the knee-brushed cotton I think...do you have them in black please?" 

"Yes of course, we also have them in white or that sticking plaster pink colour, what size do you require?" replied Madam Malkin.

"Extra large please, could you wrap them in festive paper for me? the family are doing secret Santa surprise presents for our Winter Solstice dinner, its just in case anyone forgets Aunty Muriel...an emergency gift, if it isn't needed I will give to her for Yule instead, could you send it to my home...I'm rather loaded...glad I put lightening charm on the bags...also do you mind writing a gift tag for the bloomers? tell you what stick them in one of those lovely gold gift boxes you do, is that extra Dear?" asked Molly.

"Only five sickles extra for the gift wrapping, the Bloomers are two galleons a pair, what name on the gift tag?"

" Just write "Aunty Muriel from Secret Santa" on the tag please." said Molly Weasley.

Molly then got her purse out of her large handbag and handed over the money to pay for her shopping and gave Madam Malkin the Burrows address for the Owl post delivery. 

Madam Malkin thanked Mrs Weasley for her custom, as she left the shop Molly wished Madam Malkin a good evening.

Once Mrs Weasley had left, Madam Malkin decided to close the shop for the evening, she took all the items that had been purchased to the packing area, to be wrapped ready for posting.

"Here we are ladies, the last of the items for posting, all the address labels are on top of the items to be wrapped and boxed, there is plenty of brown paper, string and wax for sealing the parcels, please, please double check that everything is correctly wrapped and with the right address labels!" Madam Malkin addressed this particularly to Miss Eccles.

"Yes Madam Malkin." The three assistants replied.

"Thank you Ladies, I'm now going to have a cup of tea, I will come back and check your progress in half an hour." 

Once she had left the shop going to her flat that was situated above the shop, the sales assistants got on with doing the parcels for posting, of course Boudicca Eccles mixed up the Weasley gifts by putting the wrong gift tags and address labels on the parcels.

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Hermione and Fred arrived at the Burrow in good time on the Winter Solstice for the family Yule dinner, Fred was carrying a large bag with all the gifts for the family, Hermione carried a wrapped bundle carefully in her arms, Baby Oscar was fast asleep, they knocked on the door and it was opened by a smiling Arthur Weasley who bade them welcome, once inside they made their way into the warm and brightly lit living room, where all the family had gathered and called to Hermione and Fred in greeting, Molly bustled over and took Oscar from Hermione so she could take off her travelling cloak, she removed her beaded bag from the cloaks pocket as it had all Oscars bits in it. 

Fred Put both their cloaks into the downstairs cupboard and then took the bag of gifts into the kitchen where Percy was organising the gifts to be put under the tree and told Fred that the secret Santa gifts should go on the table where they would be opened after dinner had been eaten, he added that he wouldn't peek to see who Fred's gift was for.

Fred put all the family presents under the tree, but when he looked for Aunty Muriel's secret Santa present he had forgotten to bring it with him.

"Bumholes! I have left my secret Santa present behind!" He exclaimed.

"You don't have time to get it, as we are sitting down to eat now...could you summon it?" asked Percy.

"No...we have warded the cottage, it would get damaged going through them, are their any emergency gifts? Mum usually has a couple spare...its for Aunty Muriel!"

"We wondered who would get her! I'll have a look and see what there is, what did you get her anyway?"

"Butterbeer toffee, she likes her sweets, it was that or a bottle of Old Ogdens." said Fred.

"I will go and ask Mum about the spare present and stick on it the table, I won't spoil the surprise!" grinned Percy.

He came back a few minutes later with a gold box wrapped with black ribbon placing it on the table that was laid out for the Yule dinner.

The Weasley family then sat down and enjoyed a splendid meal, even Aunty Muriel enjoyed it, she usually moaned that the vegetables were undercooked and there was not enough sherry.

"Right Weasleys! the moment we have all been waiting for...Secret Santa Present time!" announced George.

All the wrapped gifts on the table then rose into the air and floated to their recipients, much laughter ensued as everyone unwrapped their gifts, then it was Aunty Muriel's turn.

"That's a beautifully wrapped gift, wonder what's in it...hope its confectionary of some sort!" She said.

The elderly witch removed the ribbon of the box and opened the lid, she took out a flat package of purple tissue paper, opening it to reveal a pair of black silk French knickers!

"Makes a change from Butterbeer toffee!" deadpanned Aunty Muriel.

Percy exchanged shocked glances with Fred and burst out laughing.

"Bloody Hell! I think there has been a massive cock up somewhere! that was meant for another Witch!" groaned Fred.

"I think I can guess what has happened, the wrong gifts were sent, I got an emergency present for the secret Santa in case anyone forgot to get a gift." explained Molly Weasley.

"Did you get the emergency present from Madam Malkin?" asked Fred.

"Yes, but it wasn't those sort of undergarments...they were of a more practical nature," His mother replied.

Hermione grinned at her husband, she had seen the beautifully wrapped gold box under their Yule tree at home, she knew from the box that it was lingerie from Madam Malkins shop.

"Nevermind Fred...at least the other knickers will keep me warm this winter!" she giggled.

"I'm sorry, if you are embarrassed Aunty Muriel, I got you Butterbeer toffee for your secret Santa...and apologies my love for getting my witch apple catcher bloomers!" Fred said.

"No harm done, Harmony had better have these and I will have my other Bloomers and Butterbeer toffee when its convenient...now lets have another Sherry and finish opening our presents!" ordered Muriel.

Aunty Muriel handed the knickers to Hermione who then placed them back in their box and put them in her beaded bag.

The family then proceeded to finish opening their secret Santa presents with much amusement and good natured teasing. 

Hermione and Fred with Baby Oscar went home later that evening and enjoyed opening their Yule presents, Hermione burst out laughing when she opened the other gold box and took out the huge black bloomers intended for Great aunty Muriel, they were sent over the next day to her house.

Hermione did wear her present from her husband to his great enjoyment, they did indeed show off her backside very well indeed.

The incident of the mixed up gifts was never reported to Madam Malkin, as it had given the family great amusement.

Miss Eccles did improve her skills in the packing of garments, not making too many mistakes, much to the delight of Madam Malkin.

Fin~


End file.
